


One Shem Allowed

by allisondraste



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 05:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20925098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allisondraste/pseuds/allisondraste
Summary: After returning to Vigil's Keep to find it in disarray due to the antics of a couple of drunken elves, Nathaniel offers his assistance.Written in honor of No Shems Allowed (https://archiveofourown.org/works/11704797), written by Merilsell.  I adored the story so much that I wanted to make a short little continuation.





	One Shem Allowed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sundogsandrainbows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundogsandrainbows/gifts).

Nathaniel rolled his eyes and huffed out an exasperated sigh as the main hall emptied of its inhabitants. The last thing he wanted to do after a day spent killing Darkspawn in the pouring rain was to return to Vigil’s Keep and find yet another mess to clean up. Children, he thought. He was surrounded by blighted children. Children the size and shape of adult Grey Wardens, who claimed rather forcefully that they were Ferelden’s last line of defense against the Darkspawn. None of these arseholes would be saving anybody from anything anytime soon.

The main hall smelled like a brewery, and empty wine bottles were strewn about haphazardly. A large, furniture-and-blanket structure filled the far edge of the hall, and the only sounds to be heard were the giggling and mocking of two elves who had stayed behind and apparently drank the entire wine cellar. Amidst the chaos, Varel and the other humans had been found locked in the larder with a sign on the door saying “No Shems Allowed.” 

If it weren’t bad enough already, they had taken Anders’ bloody blanket and his bloody cat, and he would not stop whining long enough to be of any help; Oghren was nude, stripped down right in the middle of the hall “to dry off;”and when Lenya, their fearless, incredibly impulsive leader, finally emerged from the blanketed fortress with no pants, she threw herself on the only other person who made any attempt at handling the situation, rendering him all but useless.

Alistair, for what it was worth, handled himself with remarkable composure for a man whose completely drunk, half-naked lover had her legs wrapped around his waist. As flustered as he appeared to be, and with the newly freed Varel imploring him to clean up the mess, he still managed to behave objectively and promise that it would be handled in the morning before carrying the Commander down the hallway and up the stairs. 

Nathaniel offered to stay behind and take care of Velanna, though he was uncertain at this point what it would entail, most likely cursing and threats of violence. Anders retrieved his cat and blanket, then stormed off to his quarters. Cousland, who had stood at a small distance, observing and teasing through the sloppy affair, also retired without offering assistance. Her eyes locked with Nathaniel’s as she passed, and darkened. Evangeline had protested his conscription, and even now as she tried to move past her feelings about his father, it was obvious that she was uncomfortable. He could have used her help, but knew better than to ask. 

Now, Nathaniel stood in the middle of the cluttered hall with Oghren, who now warmed himself by the fire, and Varel. The seneschal looked twice as annoyed as Nathaniel felt, and he raked a hand through his silver hair as he shook his head. 

“Nathaniel,” he said, and Nathaniel turned to face him more squarely.

“Ser?”

“I appreciate your efforts to manage this...situation.” Varel looked around the room as he spoke. “Though, I would caution you about Warden Velanna. In her current state, she might be more prone to use her magi—“

“That won’t be a problem, ser.” Nathaniel cut him off. He respected Varel, and did not want to hear the rest of his undoubtedly ignorant remark. 

“Very well, then,” Varel replied with a nod, “If you have this handled, I will be going to bed. I’ve had a… long day.”

“Please. Get some rest.” 

Varel clapped Nathaniel’s shoulder, gratitude showing in his tired eyes, and exited the hall, leaving Nathaniel to his new task. He turned to face the blanket fortress, which had begun to fall under its own weight, plotting how he would approach his fellow warden.

“You sure you want to go in there, Howe?” Oghren said loudly, drawing Nathaniel’s attention. He wiggled his eyebrows, grin spreading from ear to ear. “She’ll eat you alive.”

“That sounds preferable to standing here looking at your hairy, naked arse,” Nathaniel replied, attempting to be stern, but unable to keep the grin from twitching on his lips. 

The dwarf chuckled. “You sound like my wife.”

“How  _ does _ she resist you,” Nathaniel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“C’mon! You know you think I’m cute.” Oghren batted his eyes and looked up at him, and it was increasingly more difficult to maintain a straight face. 

“Adorable,” he stated, “Get dressed.”

“Alright, alright. Fine!” Oghren threw his hands up. “I’ll put on some sodding pants if it’ll make you happy.”

“Mind the schleets, Oghren,” Nathaniel teases.

“I’ll mind  _ your _ schleets, you rotten, nug humping bastard,” Oghren grumbled playfully, and walked away. 

Nathaniel wasted no time approaching and entering the blanketed area. He, too, wanted a dry change of clothes, and the sooner he dealt with Velanna, the better. The ceiling was tall enough that the elves could have stood comfortable, but he had to bend slightly to keep from hitting his head. Scanning the area, he noticed Velanna reclined lazily in the back corner. The woman was fully clothed, unlike the commander, and she wore a wide smile as she stared at the bottle in her hands. Even the disheveled mess she was, even as her eyes caught Nathaniel, and her expression slowly shifted to her standard scowl, she was beautiful. 

He shook the thoughts away. It was improper to think such things, especially about someone who would undoubtedly rebuke his interests. They were so different, and she despised humans. He shook his head. It was never going to happen. 

“Did you not see the sign,” Velanna asked, words slurred together slightly, “Or are you simply unable to read.”

He snorted out a laugh. “Sloppily hand written signs do not frighten me, my lady.”

“Ugh,” Velanna huffed and crossed her arms. “ _ Ugh. _ ”

“You are fortunate that I am the one who came to retrieve you,” he continued as if he had not heard her grumbling, “Varel and the others are rather displeased that you locked them in the larder.”

“It was Lenya’s idea,” she argued, voice growing louder in her frustration, as he noticed it always did. 

Nathaniel looked around and smiled. “It does not appear you had many objections.”

“It was a good idea,” Velanna explained, a smile briefly cracking her features, before she forced back her scowl, “But noooo she has abandoned our fun for her stupid, shemlen bondmate.” 

“You say that with such disgust.” 

“It is disgusting!” She flailed her hands dramatically, causing her to lose her balance so that she nearly toppled over, but she caught herself before she fell back entirely. “You human men are so…”

Nathaniel cocked an eyebrow at her, and she rolled her eyes. 

“Insufferable,” she sighed, falling back from her sitting position so that she lay flat on the floor.

“My apologies, my lady,” he teased, sarcasm thick on his tongue, “I shall make you suffer me no longer.” 

“Good riddance,” Velanna spat without missing a beat, dismissing him with a loose wave of her hand.

Nathaniel pivoted on his feet as dramatically as he could, and started walking toward the exit of the makeshift fort. He stopped, as he heard her fumbling and struggling behind him. 

“Wait,” she commanded, and he turned back to face her. She had managed to sit up again, but glanced at him helplessly. She was likely too inebriated to stand on her own, let alone make it up the flights of stairs that led to her quarters. 

“Would you like some help?”

A brief hint of a smile on her lips was quickly covered as she pouted, brows pressing together. “What a… that’s… No. Do I look like some delicate Dalish flower to you? As if all I do is frolic about and pick daisies? I do not need your help, shem.”

Rather than arguing with her, Nathaniel walked forward and offered her his hand. She glared at it furiously as if she intended to set it on fire. She very well could have, after all, and he would have been concerned if she had not immediately heaved a frustrated sigh, and placed her hand in his. 

He helped her to her feet, and attempted to steady her, but she stumbled forward, falling against his chest. He had never been so grateful for the standard warden breastplate that kept her from hearing how fast his heart was beating. When she looked up at him, every ounce of contempt he’d ever seen in her face was gone. She tilted her head, eyes roaming his face as if it were the first time she’d looked at him. 

An eternity passed before she opened her mouth to speak, shaking her head and looking down at one of her hands that gripped his arm for stability. “You are wet.”

Nathaniel chuckled. “It was raining.” 

“You should dry off.” Velanna fixed him with a worried expression, as she brought her hands to touch his face. “Your skin is like ice.”

Another laugh as he brought his hand to cover hers, pulling it down from his face. He hadn’t noticed how cold he was until the warmth of her hand met his cheek. “I intend to, my lady, as soon as I make sure that you are safely in your quarters. I am flattered by your concern.”

“Concern? I am not—” Velanna flinched and pulled away from him, eyes flicking down to where their fingertips still touched and back up to his eyes— “I am not concerned for you. I simply think that you are foolish to stay in wet clothing.”

“Would you prefer that I take it off before I help you to your room?” He smiled broadly at the huff of disbelief that escaped her. 

“What,” she shrieked, “No! I would prefer that you let me take care of myself and you do the same.”

“Velanna, you can barely stand.”

“I—,” she began, and attempted to take a step, but stumbles again. Nathaniel caught her, and she mumbled what was most likely to be a curse in her own language. She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes. He panicked.

“Are you all right?” He held her shoulders firmly. 

“Do I look like I am all right?” She snapped. “I can’t even walk myself to my room. I am pathetic.”

“I have never met anyone who does a good job of walking when they are drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk,” she objected, almost comically as her words slurred around themselves.

“No, of course not,” Nathaniel remarked dryly, “You only drank half of the wine cellar. Let me help you.”

“Fine,” she blurted throwing her hands up, and he moved to scoop her up into his arms before she could change her mind. She gasped in surprise, but did not object further, instead wrapping her arms around his neck to hold herself up.

Nathaniel carried her out of the fort, down the hallway and up several flights of stairs to her quarters. Luckily the door to her room was open, and he walked, careful not to bump her head against the frame. He eased her down gently onto the bed, and moved to stand up, but her arms remained looped around his neck. 

“Thank you, Nathaniel,” she said, kissing him on the cheek before pulling her arms away. “I was wrong.”

Heat rushed to his face and he stood abruptly, clearing his throat. “Wrong about what, my lady?”

Velanna did not reply, and he stepped closer to the bed to see that she had drifted off. She must have been half asleep the past several moments, that would explain the kiss, the soft words. Smiling, he turned to exit the room, closing the door behind him. 

Perhaps his infatuation was not misplaced after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Meri, for letting me borrow your kiddos and your story! This was fun and I hope you enjoy it!


End file.
